As I rummaged around the dirty clothes basket trying to find the ‘cleanest’ shirt for Pickle to wear to school this morning it occurred to me that the image I project to the world is one of perfectionism. Not on purpose, but quite by accident.
I’d hate me if I wasn’t me…
All those images of perfect bakes; that flippin’ amazing flour that I have created; all those fabulous reviews that people keep writing. Why doesn’t she just p**s off and stop being so bloody perfect.
But the fact is, I’m not perfect. I’m far from it.
I use ‘bloody’ far too much in front of the kids…
I forget to do the washing and then make my kids wear dirty clothes (telling them to wear a jumper all day so that nobody notices)…
I pick my nose…
I make rubbish packed lunches (even more rubbish one day this week when I forgot to fill Roo’s sandwich and gave her dry bread)…
I have a lot of baking disasters…the list goes on.
But what do you all see?
You see the perfect lady, with her perfect family, who’s created her perfect job and bakes amazing things with her fabulous flour blends!
And I have to project that because I am trying to sell something; I’m trying to impress you so that you make my recipes.
It isn’t real. None of it is and that’s the problem with the internet and social media.
It makes you feel bad. It makes you feel like you’re the only mum who is rubbish when the reality is that all of us are rubbish at times but we’re comparing ourselves to lives that are orchestrated to make people think we are perfect.
I never wanted to be like this.
Look back at my early recipes.
The photos are dire because I wanted you to feel like you could do better.
I didn’t want you to be intimidated.
But over time, I realised that if I didn’t play the perfectionism game, nobody would make my recipes however brilliant they were. Nobody wants to cook something that looks rubbish in the photo do they?
So against my heart I started to take better photos and started to project my ‘perfect’ life to you.
And you fell for it. More people read my blog, more people made my recipes…but to what end?
Now I am as guilty as all the other people out there who relay their perfect lives to you on social media (who are less than perfect in reality).
I don’t want to make people unhappy. I don’t want people to compare themselves against me and feel like they are failing.
Look folks, I do all this baking and cooking because it’s my JOB. If it wan’t my job I’d be the first in the queue at Tesco’s buying the latest free from product that they had launched.
I’m sure there are many mum’s at the school gate who don’t talk to me anymore because they are fed up with seeing my fabulous new baking creations splashed across their social media channels.
So to them and anyone else who reads this blog and misguidedly thinks I’m perfect…there’s no such thing as perfectionism. I’m not a great mum, or a great wife or a great cook…all of the time. Just sometimes, and those are the times that I share with you.
So next time you read about a wonderful bake I created, or you see a picture of a beautiful woman, or read a story about an inspirational character, remind yourself that behind all that they are just like you. Perfectly imperfect. Embrace it, love yourself and never EVER compare yourself to anyone else because we are all individuals doing the very best we can in this crazy world.